I found some old photos (old – taken in high school or shortly thereafter – before 1997) and was surprised at what I looked like back then. I knew that I had gained weight since I got married, because the picture of Christle and I before we had Alaina shows that I was skinny.
I was a toothpick back in high school. My neck looks like it might have been 9-10 inches long! It almost looks like I was stretching my neck out to make myself look taller. I was lean, but there wasn’t enough meat on my bones to make lean look good.
I feel good about my size now, especially when I think of what I looked like in the mirror just a few months ago. I guess I’ve just gotten more self-conscious about it in recent years. When I run into old friends (or ex-girlfriends) from high school, I want them to actually wish they’d have given me more time. I ran into one today at the gym. I’m just glad I didn’t run into her sooner. She looked good, but not what I had in my memory. I don’t know if it’s being married that has changed my memories, or just that time has passed.
I used to think about the past a lot. Being closer to home has brought back some fond memories. Looking to the future is more important than that. But seeing people from my past has helped me focus more clearly on what is the most important, and that’s paying attention to the present. What I have right now is a present, a gift from God that needs to be appreciated and experienced.
I’m blessed. I know that I am.
Now, I’ve got to focus on my abs!

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